Incredibull-Shit!

(draft originally written 4.23.09)

In the last 48 hours my life has changed significantly, and things have never seemed to be more magical, awesome and inspiring, and I know I say that a lot.

Its almost 6 am on Thursday morning, the day of Eric's funera service, which I have to leave for in two hours, but I need to get some of these experiences on paper (on screen)? before they all fade away to the next awesome parade of joys that make the prior ones a little harder to remember if I I dont make a note when Im in the moment.

I was on the phone with Alex earlier talking of all the cool things that have happened and I mentioned to him, that oddly enough, all this flood of the wicked-cycle started around the time I heard of Eric's death, which (obvioulsy) was VERY unexpected, but an odd benchmark in my current adventure. I actually said the words "I cant believe how much good shit has happened since...well since Eric died."

Playfully, I 'joked' in a way that was in honour of his life and of knowing him, and having been through the loss of Ziggy in Jan, know that finding love and strength in death is the lesson that I feel we all must learn from 'losing' the ones we love. We dont lose them, and they dont want us to feel bad for them, they want their life to inspire those who still have life to live it to the fullest and to recieve all the available love and understanding there is being offered to us in the wake of death; life!


R.I.P Eric my friend, since you have left, my life has been nothing but strength and I have had the opportunity and blessing to be the strength for my friends, namely Alex- who was much closer to Eric than I was, and far more torn apart by the loss of one of his greatest friends, and someone who to me-was a role-model for living life because of his curious attitude, intelligent observations and good-hearted exuberance that I looked up to and trusted because he was someone who was not afraid to live his life, experiment with his talents and abilities and to share such a flare for living with all the people he touched...or set on fire, or danced beside, or made fun at, or supported


Tuesday I woke up pretty average, the only thing out of ordinary was that what woke me up was an awesome dream that stuck with me becasue of its sexual nature and who it involved - I woke up with a lesson (and an erection) that felt very good to experience-even though I didnt realize I was dreaming until after I had awoken (DAMN!) I still felt as if I had awoken with the feelings and purpose of the dream fresh in my conscious, semi-cloudy/pillow-patterened head. I get that but not usually as strong as this was. So I wrote it down and I started my day with a perspective that "okay now what" didnt ever get a chance to materialize into my morning like it often does, because I HATE working in the morning , if I dont get the ball rolling right away, its loaftalottapuss city for me because I work on momentum and spontaneaty, and those arent usually morning qualities for me because my momentum kept me up all night that the last thing I wake up with is momentum....unless its with someone (that sleeps with me all night) and waking up with momentum means already half engaged in wake-up sex you didnt know you even started)

I checked my email, and right out the gate I got word that I would be getting another role in the movie project, not only would I be producing the music, mixing, and writing part of the scene, but now I will be performing as myself DJing in the movie as well... in the scene that Ive been working on the musimovie I have been working on with BT

more like GIMMIE A MOMENT...UM...im going back to bed, cuz I had sleep-momentum and I was going nowhere fast in la la land-